Isn't it strange how just going back to a place can bring back all the old feelings you used to have?
Despite having moved away and shrugging off all the worries I had before - about being single and being left behind - the moment I stepped foot back in my old town, it all came flooding back.
Having been gone for 2 months it seems that not a whole lot has changed, no suprises there then. Except that now even more people have partnered up, including someone I've been carrying a little torch for, even though it was obvious it was never going to happen. I'm pretty gutted. I'd like to think I'm like Anne Elliot and that her "we love longest, when all hope is gone" speech is really applicable to me, however it's certainly not love and I think it's more to do with the fact that I don't want to be alone more than anything else.
After a few weeks of looking forward to coming home for a few days, I wanted to jump back on a train as soon as I got here. Too soon I think, the old wounds of living here haven't yet healed and I still love London too much for home to compare.
Incidentally, a good friend of mine bought me Lauren Henderson's 'Jane Austen's Guide to Dating' for Christmas. Her exact words when I opened it and started gushing about how much I loved it were: "Now I don't know if I should really be encouraging you like this." She knows me too well, but she is the chief of smug couples what with being engaged and ridiculously happy so likes to give me pitying looks when I claim that I'll be bringing someone who is a cross between Darcy, Wentworth and Edward Cullen to the wedding. Honestly though, my world is so much better than the real world sometimes.
A few more days though and I can crawl back to the big smoke and enjoy my youth, while the boring old couples here get their early nights.